Search
  • Police Dad

All I Wanted Was Some Red Bull.



If you follow this blog then you know we are in the process of selling our house. Yesterday was the day the appraiser was scheduled to come and he requested that nobody be at the house due to the Bat Virus. No problem, I understand. This situation has caught everyone off guard and people handle it in different ways.

So while the kids and I had to be out of the house, I figured we might as well go to the store so I could pick up some Red Bull (it gives you wings you know). I ended up at Walmart in Rockwall and, once again, I was reminded of how screwed up some people are.

There was the older, angry, rather rotund lady, who was wearing a face mask, that was arguing with an employee. Something told me she doesn't quite get the concept of the mask because every time she wanted to argue, she pulled the mask down from her face and when she was finished, she put it back on.

Or, the little Asian woman that did not speak very good English, who was mad because the poor kid handing out toilet paper would only give her one package. I just happened to have the pleasant luck of being right behind her in line, and with my little ones in the truck, I was not in the most patient mood. After about the 5th round of her yelling at this kid, I spoke up and told her to get the hell out of the way and that she was only getting one damn package of toilet paper and if that wasn't good enough for her she could complain to my left ass cheek. The kid looked like he wanted to hug me and the lady behind me thanked me. The little angry ass decided she didn't want to argue with the fat, bald guy who wasn't afraid to yell louder than she was and she moved on.

I assumed that my lack-of-patience had run its course.....that is until I went down the paper goods aisle. Down towards the middle of the aisle, there was an elderly woman....wearing a mask and holding the biggest purse I've ever seen. I think she was carrying her Rascal in that thing, but anyway, as she reached down slowly to grab the only package of paper towels off the bottom rack, this young man rushed over and grabbed it before she could. The look on his face when I walked over and told him to give it to the lady was priceless. The look on his face when I snatched it out of his hands and handed it to her was even better. I had had my fill of rudeness and inconsiderate, selfish jackasses by then, and I just didn't give a damn. It was probably for the best that he decided to go on about his business. He was mumbling something, but due to the language barrier, I couldn't understand what he was saying. I'm sure it was somewhere along the lines of "I'm sorry".

Then there was the cranky-ass woman who was working the self-checkout isles. As she was walking by an older couple who was checking out, the woman coughed and the employee jumped about 4 feet trying to get away from her......Yes, I laughed out loud.

Anyway, I decided I had better get my children back home before their daddy ended up in jail and the police had to call their momma and tell her to come get them.

My bride's face as she received that phone call.....now that is a site I would like to see.....(from a distance of course).


Once we got back home, I realized that I had made a small oversight, when we left the house. You see, the alarm pad in our bedroom has the brightest green LED light known to mankind on it and at night it bothers me. So, I usually hang something over the pad to block the mind-piercing beam of illumination so I can sleep. Well, the night before, I had covered the alarm pad with a pair of my beautiful bride's "special" under-britches (I reached in the closest drawer and that's what came out, what can I say). They are black and, although there isn't much material there, they were perfect for blocking the light.

When we got back to the house I walked in the bedroom and, you guessed it, hanging there on the alarm pad, were those special black panties!

They appeared to still be hanging in the exact manner that I placed them, so maybe the guy didn't try them on or anything.



73 views

©2019 by Fruit Loops in the Dryer Vent. Proudly created with Wix.com