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Jump Rope-A-Thon

Updated: Feb 27

I hate exercising. I hate it like I hate flared-up hemorrhoids. I don't mean I hate it just a little bit: I mean, I would rather have to catch and milk a Rattlesnake of it's venom than exercise! I would rather jump out of an airplane with a parachute that I packed than to exercise.

I think you get my point.


I tried walking around the neighborhood.....hated it.

I tried riding my bike.... hated it.


But, there is one thing I hate worse than exercising, and that is feeling embarrassed about the way I look, and feeling bad all the time, because of my weight.


So I had to figure something out, exercise-wise, that I could do, that I knew I would do, and that I would stick with it. I think I found it...

And then it came to me................................Jumping rope!




I'll give y'all a minute to stop laughing and snorting!


I started doing this on the back porch... well, that's not entirely true. I actually started doing it in the entryway of the house, you know, just inside the front door. But, funny thing; you know those little round black and white pieces of plastic that surround the rope (on a good jump rope), you know, those things they put on the rope so it will actually go over and around us old and fat guys? Yeah those, well they can sometimes......not all the time....but sometimes, make little black and white marks on the tile floor......the wife's tile floor to be exact. The wife's expensive ass tile floors to be even more exact.

(That's not me. I don't move that way)


So anyway, I have been doing it on the back porch for several reasons;


a. So if I fall and bust my head open, the neighbors won't see it.

b. If I pass out and fall and bust my head open, the neighbors won't see it.

c. If I'm on the ground with my head busted open, the Firefighter/Paramedics will have to haul their equipment all the way to the backyard. (I just like to see Firemen actually do a little work every now and then.)

d. If the local seismologist starts driving around looking for the source of the earthquake readings on his ground monitoring equipment, he won't find me and name me in some

Seismologist Weekly Gazette or something.

e. I don't want to end up on America's Funniest Home Videos.


I think I'm making great progress. When I started, I could barely get through 10-12 reps before missing a jump (and also nearly dying because I was winded so bad), but I didn't give up. No Sir! I got right back out there and battled through and I'm really starting to think this is my thing... my exercise thang.


I am so proud of myself for sticking to it and not giving up. I made myself a promise to get back out there for an unbelievable third time tomorrow and I am so stoked!!


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