• Police Dad

The Laundry...

Washing clothes (or as the say in the south, "warshin" clothes) is a chore that should not be nearly as hard as it is. We have a washer/dryer set that cost about as much as a mid-size Volkswagon and yet, it is still a pain in the butt to do laundry! I don't think NASA can even come up with a way to make laundry easier to do. Washing regular, normal clothes is hard enough to do, but don't even get me started on washing women's clothes! That's some crazy stuff right there! I spent 20 minutes trying to figure out how to get one of my bride's shirts on a hanger the right way and finally realized it was a damn skirt!

She has these shirts, or blouses, or whatever they are called, that are made kinda like 2 shirts attached to make one......yeah, that took an entire episode of Gunsmoke to figure out!

I have some thoughts on laundry that I would like to share with you; for instance:

1. Why does it take a bachelor degree to figure out how to turn a woman's dress right side out?

2. I want it noted that I should never have to wash anything that requires any form of dis- assembly!

3. How the hell do you fold women's underwear? I mean really. I finally gave up and just started tying them in little knots.

4. Scraping that wool blanket off of the dryer lint thing is just disturbing to me.


5. Bleach this, don't bleach that....screw it- bleach it all!

6. If filling the cup to the #1 soap line is good, then the #3 line is better right?

7. Why are my drawers the only ones with skid marks? How does that happen? Girls have the same butt crack we have. Explain to me how a woman can wear her underwear for 10-12 hours and they come out looking like they were just washed and mine look like I had been scared.................really bad!?

8. Where the hell are all the matching socks!? It is unbelievable how I can put 6 pairs of socks in the washer, and by the time they come out of the dryer, I only have 3!

I'm calling Dateline. This is something they need to get to the bottom of.

9. This morning I got the crap scared out of me by a pair of thong panties! I thought a giant spider had jumped out of the clothes at me! I fell backwards over a clothes basket, screamed like a little girl, and beat the hell out of my bride's panties with a "Bounce" box!


And finally.......

10. You know that shirt that your wife bought you that you hate.......well, just see #5 above.

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